For weeks now I’ve been scratching my head for any reasons why the Portland Trailblazers would NOT take Greg Oden with the first pick in the NBA draft. Here’s all I’ve been able to come up with:- If he’s been spotted recently at a Vegas strip club with “Pacman” Jones.
- If the FBI reports he bought Stephen Jackson and Sebastian Telfair’s gun collections.
- If there’s a YouTube video of him and Michael Vick at the dog fights.
I’m still wracking my brain, but time is rapidly running out. The draft is Thursday night, and all these Kevin Garnett and Kobe Bryant rumors are making me dizzy, so let’s look at how I think the lottery picks should go down:
1. BLAZERS: Greg Oden, the franchise center, or Kevin Durant, the all-world forward? I’m betting on Oden, because you should always go with the big fella (Sam Bowie once told me that).
2. SONICS: Durant is a mighty fine consolation prize and will be the Sonics’ most exciting player since Shawn Kemp (before he started eating himself out of the league and having all those kids, of course.)
3. HAWKS: Long after graduation, I used to have this recurring dream where I skipped weeks of college classes, didn’t read the book at all and sat horrified in class as the professor passed out the final exam. Kinda reminds me of Hawks GM Billy Knight. Does he prepare for these drafts? I mean, passing on Chris Paul and Deron Williams when you desperately need a point guard? And then big-time bust Shelden Williams over rookie of the year Brandon Roy? C’mon now!
So here’s my advice. After turning to the ESPN Trade Checker, let's send this pick, Josh Childress and other spare parts to the Grizzlies for center Pau Gasol. He’d add big-time, low-post scoring to a nucleus of forwards Josh Smith and Marvin Williams and All-Star guard Joe Johnson. They’ll still need a point guard, but they also own the No. 11 pick.
Now wasn’t that easy, Billy? Any questions, call me.
4. GRIZZLIES: If the Grizzlies unload Gasol and his $13 million per season, they’ll be in full-blown rebuilding mode and will have back-to-back picks for power forward Al Horford, the most NBA-ready player in the draft behind Oden and Durant, and Mike Conley, the top-rated point guard. Add them to Rudy Gay, Mike Miller and Hakim Warrick and you’re officially back on the way to respectability. I’m on a roll. The Hawks are happy, the Grizzlies are happy and I’m happy to have helped.
5. CELTICS: Danny Ainge didn’t really think Kevin Garnett would ever agree to play in Boston, did he? Maybe in the 1980s, but Larry Bird, Kevin McHale and Robert Parish aren’t walking through that door. Actually, until KG said “hell naw,” the Celtics’ offer was everything the T-Wolves could hope for in a deal. They’d get the best young low-post scorer in the league (Al Jefferson), another young talent (slam-dunk champion Gerald Green), salary-cap relief (Theo Ratliff’s expensive expiring contract) and the No. 5 pick. It looked good for the Celtics, too. Paul Pierce and fans are getting impatient with this youth movement thing. And in the East, KG and Pierce with 10 players from the YMCA just might land you in the NBA Finals. So if I’m in Danny Boy’s shoes, what do I do now? Well, I stay the course. Forget about KG, continue to build around Jefferson, draft 6-9 swingman Corey Brewer (who can be a LeBron Stopper or Wade Stopper for years to come) and hope Pierce doesn’t pull a Kobe.
6. BUCKS: Brandon Wright is another highly touted one-and-done Tar Hell, a lot like Marvin Williams, (who went No. 2 to the Hawks two years ago ahead of Chris Paul and Deron Williams). Except teams are finding out that Wright is way overrated BEFORE the draft. Scouts say he’s soft. They say he doesn’t always play hard and he’s too skinny. Once thought to be the next-best prospect behind Oden and Durant, he’s slipping fast. But at No. 6, he might not be a bad gamble for a team like the Bucks, who desperately need inside scoring.
7. TIMBERWOLVES: My head is spinning. It’s KG to the Celtics. Then KG to the Suns in a three-team trade with the Celtics. Then KG to my Lakers in a four-team trade with the Pacers and Celtics. Then Ainge sticks it to Jerry Buss, Magic, Kareem, Worthy, Coop, the Laker Girls and all Lakers fans by backing out. Then McHale says the Lakers don’t have enough on their own to land KG. Then Kobe says he still wants out even if KG comes to the rescue. So I’ve had it. I’ve had it with Ainge. And I’ve had it with Kobe. And McHale can just keep KG and pick center Spencer Hawes with the No. 7 pick. And I hope Hawes turns out to be the second coming of Jon Koncak. Really, I do.
8. HORNETS: Don Nelson and the Warriors absolutely covet this pick to take China’s Yi Jianlian, the 7-footer who plays more like Dirk Nowitzki than Yao Ming. So it’s back to the ESPN Trade Checker. Let’s send the No. 8 pick, Brevin Knight, Othella Harrington and Adam Morrison (big-time bust) to the Warriors for guard Jason Richardson and center Patrick O’Bryant (a 2006 lottery pick who is in Nellie’s doghouse). The trade checker says it’s a match. I’m two-for-two in trades! The Hornets are really happy. The Warriors and their large contingent of Chinese fans in the Bay Area are really happy. Again, I’m really happy to have helped.
9: BULLS: I’m expecting the worst with KG and the Lakers, that way I won’t be disappointed. So let’s send Kobe to the Windy City right now for 70 cents on the dollar and end this sad, sad chapter. Of course, the Bulls will refuse to give up Luol Deng. So start with Ben Gordon and Tyrus Thomas and add Andres Nocioni (sign-and-trade after July 1) to help the salaries match. I also want the No. 9 pick to use on Southern Cal’s Nick Young, who plays like Kobe Lite and is soaring up the draft chart. And with the Lakers’ own pick at No. 19, I’m taking USC point guard Gabe Pruitt (6-4, very athletic) or Georgia Tech’s Thaddeus Young (6-7, very athletic). That gives me some nice young athletes to go with Andrew Bynum, Lamar Odom, a re-signed Luke Walton and Jordan Farmar. Chatter has Thomas also untouchable. But no Thomas, no deal. And if the Bulls let Tyrus Freaking Thomas stop them from getting Kobe and becoming instant favorites in the East, they can call the whole thing off, keep the stinking pick and draft Joakim Noah. And I hope Noah turns into the next Kwame Brown. I really do.
10: KINGS: Brad Miller has turned into Bryant “Big Country” Reeves. Ron Artest is crazy. Mike Bibby (40% from the field) seems to be slipping and is due $28 million over the next two years. And they just hired their third head coach (Reggie Theus) in 14 months. Yes, this team is definitely a disaster. So go ahead Kings fans, clang those stupid cow bells now. There’s a lot that needs fixing, and they can start by getting rid of Artest (Nuggets for Marcus Camby?), finding someone to take Bibby off their hands (Cleveland?) and drafting the best all-around player available. That’s Georgetown forward Jeff Green.
11. HAWKS: There’s no way Billy Knight can pass up point guard Acie Law here, is there? It’s not nice to laugh!
12. SIXERS: Andre Miller needs a point-producing forward to pass the ball to. Julius Erving is not available. Florida State’s Al Thornton is, and he will dunk very often.
13. HORNETS: Nick Young would be an ideal fit next to Chris Paul. If he’s gone, the Hornets settle for sleeper Rodney Stuckey or Thaddeus Young.
14. CLIPPERS: L.A.’s other team needs a point guard, but Kansas forward Julian Wright (who is sliding) is way too good to pass up here. And hey Clippers, Smush Parker is available.
I could go on, but passing out all this draft wisdom has drained me. I’m going to take a nap, and if KG is a Laker when I wake up, please don’t tell me that I’m dreaming!
Jim Morandini covers the NBA for Rizzosports.com
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